Welcome to my blog, family & friends (and Internet strangers)! I am very excited about finally getting this page going. I have been stalking blogs for about three years now, thinking, things like, "Oh I have something to say about that", or "Wow, I could write an essay on that subject!". I'm really not sure what has taken me so long to write my own blog. In some ways, I really wish I had started sooner to chronicle my journey through pregnancy, but hey, better late than never right? And lucky for you, I'm not done on the whole conception front, so this time around, I can recollect my journey as a veteran.
Seriously though, I have been afraid to put myself out there. If there is one thing I have learned from reading blogs over the years, its that the best ones are chocked full of brutal honesty. If you are writing a blog for your church friends, or your grandmother, well, quite frankly, it bores me. I have tried to keep this in mind while I teetered back and forth on whether or not to write on a public forum, because, in all honesty, I am a pretty private person. I have a very tight group of close friends that I only open up to when its absolutely necessary for my sanity. The reason my husband and I are so close is because he is one of the few people I have "let in". But this year, I bit the bullet. One of my three goals for the year was to stop thinking about it, and just start blogging. So here I am... I am going to give it my best shot, and I would appreciate the feedback. If you disagree with me, let me know! If you have a comment, leave it. To me, the comments are the cream cheese icing on top of the perfect red-velvety blog entry.
So, now that we have my reasoning out of the way- let's get to business. This blog is going to be about my life as a wife and mother. A mom-blog, if you will... so I'm jumping right into it- "The Great Debate". The Great Debate in the Richardson Household these days is "when are we going to try for #2?". When I was pregnant with Austin, our plans were to start right away. As in maybe when the babe was six months old. I know you probably think I am crazy for going along with this plan whilst pregnant, but in all honestly, I was down. Kyle (hubs) and his sister were born 21 months apart, and were in consecutive grades. My sister and I were born 27 months apart, so again pretty close. And while we fought a lot during our teens, and I know Kyle and Meg had their differences, it has really been awesome being in similar places in our lives as adults.
So what happened to our plan, as our daughter is now 10 months old? Well, it just keeps getting put off. The truth is I despise being pregnant. Like, dislike with a passion. I am not one of those women who "glows" with happiness with a baby in utero. I just don't get those women. Frankly, pregnancy sucks. I enjoy drinking copious amounts of caffeine at my leisure, and consuming entire bricks of the stinkiest blue cheese you have ever laid your nostrils on. And, I can't lie, I enjoy drinking a few beers at Taco Mac during the playoffs, or a glass of wine with my steak. Also- maternity clothes- what is the deal with those? I feel like they are made for pregnant grandmas if that makes any sense. And the more fashionable pieces are so expensive! If I am going to pay a lot of money for a particularly cute article of clothing, I better be able to wear for more than four months of my life. B.) I am a very tall girl. Like a hair under six feet. Trying to find a cute pair of jeans that were long enough and embraced the belly was my personal hell. Lastly, I'm kind of scared to be pregnant with a toddler running around. This little girl wears me out as it is. When I was pregnant with her, I'm pretty sure I was asleep for 80% of my life. I would come home from work and take a nap. I would sleep until noon on a Saturday. It was glorious. I could not get enough sleep. I am just too fully aware that the kind of sleep I was getting just isn't in the cards. ever again.
Poor Kyle. I know he is beyond ready. I would be due in three months if it were up to Cap't Eager over there. But here I am, floating by.. putting it off for another month, then another...
What are your thoughts? Are you of the school of thought like us... get them in and out of the diapers. bottles and non-sleeping years all at once? Or are you the kind of person that thinks kids should be separated in age more to give yourself a little more time? Are you one of those psychos that loves pregnancy?
P.S. I write how I talk, so if you are the grammar police, you can kindly judge me, then exit. Kisses!
Well Erin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog. It's quite interesting and I have thought about doing one myself, but I can assure you it won't be anything similar to yours...lol! As a happy and gratifide middle aged woman who is seriously looking at a milestone birthday in about 19 months, I can only give you my perspective and advice. You can take whatever you want and discard the rest.
First, let me say that cloth diapers are wonderful. I had a diaper service the first 6 months of (my)Kyle's life. I don't know if they even have them anymore, but someone would make an absolute killing now days with all the "green" stuff going on. They are easy to wash and dry and cheaper than disposables - as well as much better for the environment.
That being said. I really never wanted more than one child, but I did get the urge (for a fleeting moment) when Kyle was around 2ish to have another.
I basically helped raise Tyler/Brett (especially Tyler after he came to live with us at age 14)so I have more than one, but only dealt with the toddler years with Kyle.
I would strongly suggest you at least get the first one potty trained and a little more self sufficient before tackling another one.
I felt better pregnant than I had ever felt in my entire lift. If I could look like I did when I became pregnant and feel like I didn at about 7 months, that would be euphoria!!!
But, that's never going to happen...with anyone, so I can understand about the clothes, etc.
I hate flat shoes and my biggest thing was giving up my high heels...at about 6 weeks in. Absolutely no balance...lol!
I know I haven't solved your dilemna, but at least you now have your first comment.
Love you all and hope to see you guys soon!!
Kim H.
Erin,
ReplyDeleteJon and I have this conversation all the time. I thought I really wanted them close together for the same reasons you listed. It would be so nice for them to be into the same things at the same time and to move out of the "baby" stage (diapers, sleepless nights etc.) and know it was truly over. Also, I'm really anxious to get traveling with Ellie. I would hate to not want to travel w/ my 4 year old b/c there was another tiny baby around. All of that makes perfect sense to me; however, Elliot is so not an easy kid. She is awesome, but she is also high maintenance. She sleeps with us and still wakes up to eat a least once. ( We tried letting her cry it out btw- no luck) So I don't know...I keep telling myself we need to at least get her in her own room and sleeping better before we have another. As of right now I'm thinking about trying when she hits a 18 months. I figure that they will still be pretty close in age and maybe Elliot will be able to help some at 2. Sorry... I guess I didn't really help at all. :) Let me know if you figure out the right answer! Btw- I actually didn't hate being pregnant. I mean I didn't love it, but I loved the anticipation and the crazy nesting instincts that made me so productive.
Happy decision making!
Mmmmmm. Cream cheese icing. Delicious.
ReplyDeleteErin, the blog is great! Though I do not have children of my own, I am getting to the point where I want to start "trying" whilst at the same time wishing it will take a year (or two) to get pregnant. I can offer some personal experiences with the age gap thing though...
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I are three years apart and one of my most favorite memories is the day that my Mom went into the hospital to have my sister. I can vividly remember exactly what she was wearing, and the overwhelming feeling of happiness and excitement I felt knowing that I was going to be a BIG SISTER! I also remember first meeting my sister - I wanted to hold her so bad! She of course had other plans from the beginning and screamed her head off when I held her. Then she began to crawl and thusly crawled up behind me, pulled my hair and bit me on the shoulder. And while it sticks out in my mind, none of it really mattered because she was/is still my little sister and as "the baby" always gets what she wants. But, I love her regardless.
I say this because I think that if I had been younger I wouldn't have had these special memories to take with me through my life. And while we had our sibling issues during our teenage years, we have managed to come out on the other end of it all.
On the flip side, there is Luci, my parents next door neighbor that Derek and I babysit for. Luci and Mark adopted a little girl and then a month later found out that she was pregnant with twin boys. They are now 5 and 4 respectively and are a HANDFUL. Don't get me wrong, they are amazing wonderful kids but even after babysitting for an evening I am exhausted.
However, there is something to be said about their closeness in age. They all have the ability to be independent when they want to be and have someone to play with when they need to play and be rambuncous. I have also noticed that they tend to play/feed off each others emotions - if one of them gets upset because their parents are gone, at least one will as well.
I also think it takes a lot of patience when managing more than one. Since there tends to be this feeding off of each other - there has been a number of times where Luci has to simply sit in the car with all of them screaming until they calm down.
At our age, I think we are still developing these highly important patience skills, which is a reason (next to the money thing) that I want to wait a little longer before having one...
So I am going to put a couple of questions out there for consideration:
1)Are you ready for the bigger commitment of handling another personality, preferences, demands, schedule, etc.?
2)How do you feel about Austin, would you like to spend more time with just her before adding another baby into the mix?
Hope this gives you some additional perspective to consider!
LP (Godfrey)
Hi Erin!! Welcome to the blogosphere!
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question(s), I think those who go for 2 under 2 are insane. Absolutely off their rockers! With that being said, I see the argument for "getting it over with" and having them back to back so you can get back to sleeping through the night again. But no, we're not ready for #2. And I want to wait a while so that I can make sure everything is totally and completely healed so I can try to VBAC the second time around.
But, I'm one of the weirdos who loved being pregnant. It was my own personal ticket to all the Sonic slushes and chili dogs I could consume in a week! HEAVEN! And I liked the elastic waist on my maternity pants. Actually, I loved them. So, if I could get a 100% money back guarantee that the next one (and any subsequent babies) would come out without colic/reflux and would be sleeping through the night by six weeks, I'd start tomorrow.
I say enjoy your time with Austin. Why should everything in life be a deadline and/or scheduled? Let it happens when it happens. I really don't understand these women who plan their children out to the day. You can't plan life. Did you plan on meeting Kyle exactly when you did?
ReplyDeleteHolla first blog entry!!
ReplyDelete1) love the blog. you are already in my google reader. dont you feel special?
2) austin is amazing and if i could get an austin clone (but half asian and not for AT LEAST another year) i would be super excited
3) you will know when its the right time to have another baby
i am sooo not helpful! holla! <3!!
Hey Erin,
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me just say that I actually started writing yesterday in the car on my phone, while waiting for Akito to get out of school. I guess I pressed something and I lost the comment that I spent 25min writing. So I'm giving this another try. By the way, this is my first time to read/reply to a blog.
As you know, I have 3 kids. 6yrs 5months, 3yrs 4months, and 23months. Let me just say that I LOVE my kids and the family we have become. But that doesn't mean that they don't get on my nerves almost everyday!! I think I spend half of my day yelling and telling them NO!! Imagine every loud noise you can possibly imagine and that's what my house sounds like everyday.
I was that woman that loved being pregnant...(the first time that is) Looking back on it now...it was easy. I slept when I wanted to, I got to eat a ton and whatever I pleased and nobody said anything. I loved watching my belly grow and feeling the baby kick. Strangers seemed nicer to me when I was pregnant. (Not to say they are mean now)
Then came pregnancy #2...although my husband is great and helped me with alot, (seriously great!) at the end, most of it all came down on me. I was home with a toddler that knew something was happening and became extra clingy, cooking, cleaning, etc...all with a big belly and swollen ankles. I was an emotional wreck. I don't want to scare you or discourage you from a second child, I just wanted you to know that this may or may not happen to you. But not everything was bad...I remember when my belly got pretty big, Akito would put his hand on my belly or his head and feel/listen for the baby. It was really sweet!
I liked having that age gap between the first and second. It's hard being a first time mommy. I don't think I would have been able to handle more than one at that time. I see people with twins or more and think "poor thing." I know it's awful...I loved being able to really attend to Akito and also having my own time(though it was rare)while he would take naps. Once I had the second, I really had to say bye-bye to my own time because they would not take naps at the same time.
Then came the "Suprise" third...I remember being so over whelmed and not knowing how I was going to take care of two kids so close in age and poor Akito not getting enough attention. It was tough no doubt, two kids, one not even walking on his own yet, being pregnant and all the lovely horomones, chores, etc...
Akito had my full attention until he was three and then he had to share...which I have to say, he did very well. Since he is 3yrs older than Yuuki and about 4yrs older than Masaki, he is a great older brother. He will take care of the other two if he knows I am busy or upset about something. Yuuki and Masaki being so close in age, they fight alot but also play together alot.
Looking back on it all...I don't want to do the whole pregnancy part all over again, but really, I wouldn't want to change anything. I really believe everything happens for a reason and things will happen when it is meant to be. You may or may not know when it is the "right" time to have another...who really knows? It will happen when it is meant to be or just go for it! Trust your gut...and your husband.
Sorry I went on and on, and I don't know if I did anything but scare you but here it is...I don't even remember what I wrote at this point.
See you Sunday!!
Akuri Kimura
You are definatley a private person and starting this blog has confirmed one thing in my mind about you: you follow your heart and accomplish things you put your mind to.
ReplyDeleteI am very very proud of you E and your resolve. In the bigger picture I think this speaks to the fact that you are a woman who knows what she wants. Your heart is leading you from having another baby right now. I think some of the advice you've gotten about enjoying Austin and also waiting until she is more self-suffcient or able to help would be a great relief is very important.
However, along the same lines, I know what you want more than anything is to make Kyle happy. So you have to decide the balance between these two sides in your life. You will do what works best for you. The ahh-ha moment is coming soon... promise.
love love love
Red