Relating to Ralph

You all know him- that beast of a dog that Kyle got while we were still in college. The Turner & Hooch Dog. And even though Kyle got the runt of the litter, this guy weighs 110 pounds. Yeah.

Before we had a child, I would say my relationship with him was very amicable. He is super fun to play with, and quite funny. He is there like any good friend would be there.

He keeps the bed warm for you when you get up for some water;



He helps you fix your hair;



He never lets you drink alone,



& he commiserates with you when you can't drink at all;



He'll keep you company on a long drive,



& be the look out when your husband is out of town;



He always loves my cooking,



& will share most of the time;



He is ALWAYS willing to play with you,




& loves a good swim with friends;



He always knows a good soul when he sees one, & he loved Big Bear,



and of course, Austin.




But lately, I have been just fed up with him. He is just so LARGE AND IMPOSING. When you walk in the door, he starts a one dog parade, sprinting back and forth in the kitchen 20 times, leaping, and running into furniture. This is fine and all until you walk in the door carrying a laptop bag, a purse, a diaper bag, and a 25 pound infant. And forget trying to look nice. Any parent knows that if you get out the door wearing a clean, pukeless, crumb-free ensemble, you are a golden god. But add in the drool factor equivalent to the slug that eats David's cap in Flight of the Navigator... Forget it! And if you think I am exaggerating, think again:



I am beyond sick of climbing over an abnormally tall gate that separates beast and baby. I am sick of scrubbing said drool off of our ceiling. I am tired of paying for a dog that eats- wait for it- a pound to a pound and a half of food a day.

& admittedly, I have lost it on him a few times, whispering that I am ready for him to go... as in go and be with doggie Jesus. And that is terrible, and I feel awful even typing it. I know I need to remember everything I have been though with him, and even though he got demoted one notch down the pecking order of the Richardson's- he is still a member.

Its so easy to forget how darn cute he was as a pup!



He reminded me of this sentiment just the other week, after I yelled at him for running down the hall with one of my bras. No matter how mad he makes me, he holds no grudges, and will still try to curl up like that lil' pup I once knew in the nape of my knees: